


Lost and not yet found.

by mkhhhx



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Gen, Light Angst, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 11:54:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10943967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mkhhhx/pseuds/mkhhhx
Summary: Hyungwon and Hoseok go out for their usual coffee.





	Lost and not yet found.

“How are you doing?” He was greeted by a long, tight hug. Those were Hoseok’s specialty. They entered together the small coffee shop and took their usual seats. Today’s order was pancakes and the strawberry milkshake Hyungwon wanted to try since last time. Α few customers were glancing at them but it was nothing compared to the fleets of fangirls they used to encounter on every step outside the dorms. Being a forty year old ex-idol had its perks. Like the free cinnamon rolls in front of them.

“I visited Kihyun in the hospital today.” Hoseok giggled. Kihyun became a father for a second time last night and Hyungwon intended on going later, when most of the family members would be gone. He adores Kihyun’s older child, his four year old daughter, giving her rides on his shoulders and buying the nicest dresses and everything else she likes, like the little lady she is. Hoseok and him are definitely spoiling her and the newborn boy wouldn’t be any different, just one more addition to the family.

The milkshakes arrive and he lets Hoseok do the talking, relaxing on his chair and enjoying the warm weather and the background jazz music. “So….Changkyun is not coming back for a while, but as long as he’s putting his diploma in a good use and he’s happy…” Hoseok trailed off and Hyungwon offered a sympathetic look. Changkyun and Hoseok were always close and the news of the younger’s departure were especially hard on Hoseok, who couldn’t imagine their baby maknae leaving alone for the States. Hyungwon knew they skyped often with Hoseok falling asleep and Changkyun, mostly called Daniel now, having to wake and send him to bed.

Changkyun, after having more time to himself when Hyunwoo and Hoseok left for the army started studying a science Hyungwon didn’t quite understand and by the time it was his turn to go, he had finished with a very high degree. It’s already been three whole years since he was offered a job in Boston and decided to go. Wise if you ask Hyungwon, he was doing very well. He now lives in a spacious apartment with his beautiful American girlfriend and their two black cats. The hyungs don’t have a thing to worry about, even if they always do.

Every time he misses Changkyun a little part of his mind recalls No Mercy. They tried watching it at some point, all together, four years into their career and it only resulted in crying and guilt. What was shown on TV was nothing compared to what happened when the cameras stopped recording. They were excited but also exhausted to the point of giving up, most of them. Their highs ended the moment they stepped off the stage and they snapped at each other for the most ridiculous reasons. Minhyuk and Kihyun once went without talking for five days because the latter started shouting about unwashed dishes in the middle of the night. The next week Jooheon punched a chair so hard he broke it and then fought with two of the managers after being told that his rap is lacking for the forth time that day.

It was scary sometimes, just like a battlefield, you never knew who would be cooperative or if the managers would decide to ridicule your dance and voice that day. And then came Changkyun, oh poor Changkyun. The heard him cry in the common room and nobody consoled him, the saw him overwork until his legs could hold him no more and nobody stopped him. And then, after months like this, he started being showered with admiration and love, enough for his wounds to heal and memories to fade and even more. There were the ones who didn’t make it in the group too, some staying in the industry for a second or even third chance and some leading much more peaceful lives. Hyungwon’s wishes were always with them too.

Hoseok talks animatedly about the last movie he saw and Hyungwon smiles. Hoseok is always childlike when he gets excited, even after all these years his cheerfulness didn’t perish. Hyungwon suggests they go on a book festival the next weekend and Hoseok makes a face at him. He’ll agree eventually. They talk about the weather, because that’s a thing middle aged people do. They try to meet all together, the ones still living in Seoul at least to go for drinks on Saturday evenings or to play football on Sunday mornings. Sadly, they don’t have the endurance or flexibility they used to. Years of dieting, piled up injuries and fucked up schedules have taken a toll on all of them.

A girl, not older than ten approaches their table. Hoseok is already showing his full gummy smile and opening his arms. She stops before him and looks over at Hyungwon and back again at Hoseok. “Are you Wonho oppa?” She asks adorably. “I happen to be small one” he chuckles. She gets closer and signs Hoseok to lean closer. “Mommy, there, said she liked you when she was little like me, she even has a photo of you and I was afraid you’ll catch a cold because you don’t have a shirt on, but now you have. So mummy wants an autograph but she is shy so I came instead.” The little girl whispers and Hoseok takes a tiny notebook out of his pocket and ask for her and her mum’s names. He passes the paper to Hyungwon and back to the girl, who thanks him looking utterly satisfied and runs a couple tables far, jumping on a young lady’s lap. She blushes and bows at the two men before turning around.

Things like that happen once in a while but they get rarer as the years pass. Hyungwon wants for once to go back in time. To sleeping three hours every day and celebrating birthdays in hotels around the globe. To bleaching their hair until the roots become blond and feeling like they own the whole world, up in the stage in front of purple seas from the lightsticks. Just once again. Maybe when Changkyun comes back from America, because they are so sure he will and Jooheon from whenever he is that month.

After their disband, he was offered a solo position in the company and tried it for a while but it wouldn’t work for him. He left and joined teams of volunteers, traveling around the world and producing his own music. So far, he’s been to Mexico, China, Middle East and Africa. He sends photos and video messages to his fans, loyal as ever. He calls Hyungwon on his lonely nights with shit signal to tell him about the starving kids and the sick mothers and the husbands killed in wars.

 “We have it so good” he says and he raps and he sings and he’ll keep doing it because that’s what he was made for. There are many fans asking for him, from hospitals and mental clinics and he tries to respond to each and every one of them. His raps are powerful and his songs soothing. He makes it to the news more than once, a school financially supported in some far away village or a circus shut down and the animals gaining the freedom they deserve. In the pictures, everyone around him is always smiling. He is the only and last member of Monsta X still active in the music industry and his ex-group mates couldn’t be more proud of someone.

It seems like it’s Hoseok’s cheat day because he orders a second milkshake and Hyungwon gets a chocolate muffin, even if his once naturally skinny frame is day by day more difficult to maintain. Good thing he still gains weight mainly on his cheeks and butt, the fans used to find it cute.

It is crazy, how much fans can control an idol. A hurtful comment cannot be replaced by a hundred sweet and good-natured ones. They told each other to forget and that it didn’t matter, but how could they not mind, when they cherished their fans as much as a big extended family? Hyungwon himself starved for months and so did Kihyun, again and again until they got sick and had to go through a nutrition lecture from Hoseok, who wasn’t any better really. A simple “you are fat, you are ugly, your voice is shitty” appeared in their social media every other day. And Changkyun would buy more products to cover his acne scars and Hyunwoo would be found talking to himself stressing over having to answer efficiently on their next interview and Hoseok didn’t know whether the fans wanted him to be fit or chubbier or skinny and at the end he didn’t even know what he wanted himself.

“When are you gonna find a girlfriend Hyungwon? You can’t live with only your pet gecko forever”. Hoseok side-eyed him, but it was in a light and mocking way. “I don’t know friend, maybe set me up with a nice lady and I’ll think about it.” ”Minhyuk posted a picture with someone last night, did you see it?” “Oh god, no.”

Minhyuk was a mess. More importantly, he was messing with other people’s lives. After the disbandment he went through some kind of crisis and got engaged with a girl, not even being in a relationship for a year and more importantly living together. His friends know he was pressured by his parents, but it still wasn’t a valid excuse. He is not the one to commit and his reputation as an idol accompanied by his very good looks did wonders.

His engagement lasted for two years, until he was found cheating, a mere three months away from his wedding. After that, it has been a different woman every month and countless one night stands. Talking him out of it and to a more responsible lifestyle always leads to fighting and so, they let him be. Monsta X’s mood maker Minhyuk is still somewhere in him, the only part they can never stop loving.

Hoseok is silent, dozing off but still with a pleasant expression on his face. “Do you remember?” he says and no more words are needed, because Hyungwon knows what the other means and nods. It’s not a person or a place, not even an event. It’s a sensation they are trying not to forget. Belonging to your group and fans, the adrenaline when dancing to the cheers and fanchants, the views and likes rapidly growing below their videos.

The clearest memory Hyungwon has, his most beloved one, is of their first big win, just after their second anniversary. They were called up in the center of the stage, so many familiar groups behind them and their song started playing and Kihyun started singing and he was feeling his heart beating, filled with pure joy as his legs guided him through the choreo without much thinking. After that, their career hit its peak.

Hoseok was frantically laughing at something on his phone. “Hyungwon open the group chat” he instructed and the man just did this. The last message was sent three minutes ago, from Hyunwoo in all capitals: “WHAT DO I TELL HIM, HE STARTED FINDING THEM” and after that a picture of Hyunwoo’s son on his tablet, watching something blurry but still recognizable to the trained eye. One of Hyunwoo’s videos as a backup dancer, long before the formation of their group. Answers in the form of emoticons and memes appeared soon, Hyunwoo giving up and logging off.

He was the one living the quietest life. He fell in love with the baker’s daughter near the camp he served in, ended up marrying her and working at the family business after the father’s retirement. He seems happier than ever, carrying sacks, driving the truck and organizing on the shelves the sweets delicately decorated by his wife. His now eight year old son is his exact copy, a mini Hyunwoo, except more talkative. He loves playing football with his “uncles” and then sneaking sweets into their pockets. Of course, spoiled as ever.

“When is the next match? I can come and we’ll hang out afterwards.” Hyungwon asks. “It’s next week, Friday evening, the kids are practicing hard for it and they like your cheering, so why not.” Hoseok is a gym tutor for young children. He loves his work and the kids. His co-workers and mums love him as well. Apart from general gymnastics he also coaches a local children’s football team, doing great in tournaments so far. Hyungwon likes going to their practices and games, just to feel surrounded by people and if Hoseok is not much tired they play shoots before closing up for the night. Hoseok is now studying again, to be able to teach kids with disabilities too, a dream he had for long, from when he decided what he wanted to do after their disbandment.

As a group, they went out with a bang. More importantly, Hoseok’s bang. They had more freedom, just being all back from the army and together, after years of working solo or in sub-units. During their last American tour, they made a custom to celebrate a good concert before going back to the hotel. On their last night, things got a little wild and half of them don’t even remember going back to the hotel. Hoseok did not at all, until late afternoon, just before their flight, accompanied by their manager. Something was wrong and nobody dared to ask. They would be informed, sooner or later. There was no cheering when they set foot back in Korea, just curious fans and paparazzi. They soon found out.

Hyungwon still remembers the headlines, red and bold “Photos of Monsta X’s Wonho with a man leaked”. But they were all blurry, a figure resembling Hoseok, who could be anyone else really and an other guy, semi-naked in an intimate position. He never admitted being him in public, but his career was already over. That night, Hyunwoo asked directly, in their common room, between piles of laundry and Hoseok’s small voice still echoes in Hyungwon’s mind. “It was me, I am so sorry hyung.” And everything fell apart.

Even if they all, always knew deep down Hoseok was different they weren’t ready to face it, nor the end of their group, so soon, so quickly. Like a falling star, they shined the brightest before disappearing. The period after those events consists of memories Hyungwon would rather forget. It took long for everyone to make peace with Hoseok, who was left by himself for months, none of his calls or messages answered, until Changkyun made the first move, he knew how it felt. Around that time, Wonho was buried and never surfaced again, leaving only sweet and soft Hoseok.

They don’t talk much now, Hoseok opening his book and Hyungwon his laptop, having so much work to do. They like working together like this, Hoseok is always ready to give his opinion and Hyungwon to encourage him to continue his studying in exchange.

Hyungwon’s articles are gaining a lot of attention and he hopes the same for his new book, a romantic novel. He has two appearances in TV shows as a special guest and an episode of some series to shoot this month schedules but he also has to prepare his garden for the summer and maybe buy a new gnome.

He is still waiting for the day the picture framed beside his bed with Monsta X’s last stage will be replaced by a newer one. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
